Okay, all ye faint of heart......exit now. Because I am about to pour my heart out to my diary once again. If you aren't of the female gender, you may want to exit too. If you choose not to, you'll see why. First of all, I had some "issues" of the kind you don't want to see in a lady after she has gone thru the "change of life" which basically means your youth is slipping away. So I did what every sensible lady does, and walked, no actually ran to the gynecologist. You know, for the last five years I have had inner arguments with the voice in my head, too busy, too dreadful, too expensive, too dreadful, etc. But when you get "symptoms" somehow you make time, real fast. So off I went. And my new doctor who I like very much said, " Hmmmmm.....don't I recognize you from somewhere?" Not exactly what you want to hear from your gynecologist. Wanted to be kind of incognito but turns out he had seen me in the building, since our dental office occupies nearby. Next he says he does not like what he sees in my chart. Best thing - an ultrasound, the kind where they "go in". ugh. So that was the first humilation. You go into this little room and this sweet young lady kind of dresses what looks like a nightclub in what looks like a condom, and then smiles sweetly and says, "Do you want to insert this or should I?" Uh........give me that thing. YIKES....the tortures that await the lady with the dreaded symptoms are many and unimaginable. Are you kidding me??? Then the doctor comes in and says we have a "finding". Okay, define "finding". What on earth did you FIND up there???? Oh, we can't tell you that, you will need to go and have an endometrial biopsy and talk to your doctor.
Oh my, that sounds like FUN. Can you please tell me anything about what you found?? Cuz it felt like you were digging for gold, was it gold??? No, you need to talk to your doctor. The lady in the room who had actually dug for the gold told me when the insensitive doctor left that it looked like just a polyp, but the only way to know for sure is to do the dreaded biopsy. OKAY, but before that go for a mammography, cuz heaven knows you are not supposed to wait 7 years since the last one. Oh and aren't those just a walk in the park too? Isn't that fun too??? Putting that part of your human anatomy on a cold shelf and then squishing it till all you can think of are words you could get arrested for saying????? And then she says to me, our doctor likes us to get a bit of your belly up there on that table too......oh gee, no sweat,,,,,let me just put it up there for you......are you kidding me??????? Then you wait days for the results of your tests.......and go on dreading the biopsy all that time. Go on line and google endometrial biopsy before getting one, but only if you really loathe yourself. Wanna be scared to death?? Well just try that, go ahead.
Okay, so the day comes and you go for the dreaded test. First I ask the nurse, "Does this hurt as much as everyone says?" - "Oh, no, it's a little crampy, but it's not really pain. I have never had one, but it's not really pain" Oh gee, thanks, so convincing. Then she proceeds to take out some tools that look like they could snake the entire plumbing system in my house and lay them on the table. Then they take your blood pressure and say, "150 over 80, wow, are you nervous or something?" "Who, ME, NERVOUS? WHY, WHY WOULD I BE NERVOUS? JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO AFTER MY TONSILS THRU THE OPPOSITE END??? JUST BECAUSE THAT STRAW AND CLEAVERS THERE DON'T LOOK THAT USER FRIENDLY?? NAH....I'M
NOT NERVOUS....MAYBE WE CAN DO THIS TWICE IT LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN...." And then it happens.....the doc comes in, and you lay there thinking, "Okay, so this does kind of hurt.....I sorta call this pain....yah, this feels alot like pain.....and the sweet doctor looks up over the drape and says, "How you doin' Karen?" and I say, "Uh, no, the question is HOW ARE YOU DOIN??? How much longer you gonna be UP there????" "Almost done, almost done....."and then it's over and you remember that you can actually breathe if you just draw breath in and let it out. "Okay, as soon as we get the results back we will be removing the polyp if that is in fact what it is....as soon as we know there is no cancer in the lining.....and Karen you did so well with this biopsy that we can do that "procedure" right here in my office, because now I see you can handle it" Oh JOY.....I can't wait.....I love those stirrups, I love this place.....it's always nice to have something to look forward to......."AND thru all of this frolic and fun, I have had the SHINGLES......and they are lots' o fun too....and I am feeling like a car that is beginning to fall apart. Anyway, about another anxious week and then I will know what I already know in my heart of hearts and that is that that darn polyp is nothing and I went thru all of this for naught.......but it keeps you humble to go thru stuff like this every once in a while. I hope it's another 7 years
at least for me!! So these cards along the way, I forget that some people actually explain their artwork on their blogs but if you have any questions, ask away - I'll be happy to share....this one on the left is from the Patty Bennett tutorial - reinker roses....so fun!! I have had SO MUCH FUN THIS WEEK...FUN.....FUN....FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I just thought I had to share some of this great experience I have had in the last few weeks....biopsies, ultrasounds and shingles....OH MY! Until next time.....Ain't life GRAND????