For me, the last few months have been rough. For me? Well, for me and my friends. I can start out by saying that all my test results turned out normal. I'm normal.....such a relief!! I just have to go back one more time to have the polyp removed and then as long as it's clear, I am home free. Ahhhh...I can say now, God is so good. But what about when things don't go so good? Remember when I first moved to Ohio and would blog about not having any friends? Well I prayed and asked God for friends, and He blessed me with several in Ohio. One of the first friends HE blessed me with when I moved here was my friend Susie. Susie was a joy to know...she was one of those people that remembered more details about what was going on in your life then you remembered yourself and would ask you each time she saw you how things were, naming things in particular that you had talked about the last time you saw eachother. When I first moved here, I saw quite a bit of Susie but she and her sweet husband Scott got involved in some ministry at our church that kept them pretty busy and our lives kind of went in different directions. Every once in a while we still got together, and I just loved Susie so much. Well Susie had some clinical depression going on behind the scenes that she hid very well, and about two months ago, she could not face the pain anymore and she took her own life. HEARTBREAKER. Dear Susie, if you only knew what an encouragement you were to other people....if you only knew. She left behind the love of her life, who has only just begun to process the pain. Susie is so missed, and so loved, by so many. So God, why did that have to happen? Why didn't you heal sweet Susie??? Then
another friend I was blessed with was Mary Ann. Mary Ann was another one of those people who always, and I mean ALWAYS put others above herself.
She was one of the most selfless people I have ever known. We shared the worry factor and would pray for eachother to be strong in that area. I loved Mary Ann, so much. I looked up to her so much. I treasured every moment I had with her. A year ago Mary Ann was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer. She lived about a year and finally went to be with her Lord and Saviour a few weeks ago. Again, why Lord, why? She was so loved, so needed, such a laborer for HIS kingdom. So hard to understand. Why didn't you heal her Lord?? I am being blatantly honest here, I have spent many hours wrestling with that very question. Mary Ann left a loving husband, loving children and grandchildren and extended family and friends like me who loved her deeply. I cannot pretend to understand. Then another one of my friends will go un named. But circumstances of life sort of sabotaged our friendship. What was just a budding friendship could not withstand the storms of life, and so I find myself without that friendship as well- through no fault of my own. Life is so hard sometimes. I have also wrestled with this one, but you can't force things to heal or force people to feel better about the way things turn out sometimes. You have to trust God, and let go. Last weekend I got word that the husband of one of my very dear friends from New York/New Jersey died of a massive heart attack, way too soon. My dear friend is widowed at a young age, and her husband was her best friend. Why Lord? So it's been a few months of hard WHYS for me....and of course I come back to knowing I need to trust in a God who sees the right side of the tapestry HE is weaving, when I can only see the back side with all the knots and loose ends. None of this takes God by surprise. And I do take comfort in picturing Susie and Mary Ann and Roger all in the everlasting arms, out of pain and into peace. There's an old song that says something to the affect of "This world is not my home, I'm just a passin thru" - and that truth has been driven home to me in new ways in the last few months. We really need to hold on loosely to the things of this earth, and instead we need to be laying up for ourselves treasure in heaven, where our reward is real. It's been an exercise in faith for me to count it all joy....so hard to do. I remember when I first moved here Mary Ann was the first friend I brought with me to see my house before we bought it. She asked the realtor questions I never thought of. A while after that, we had dinner together and then we went over and sort of broke and entered into my daughter and son in laws house when it was still under construction. We were like little kids, climbing up into their house where we knew we didn't belong and checking it out. Then - both of us being directionally challenged we tried for over 1/2 an hour to find the house I live in now which we were buying - which is only 7 minutes and 2 turns or so away from Jon and Bekah's house, but it got so late we had to give up our mission because we had driven everywhere and all around, but never found it which seems so comical to me now. I remember thinking that Mary Ann would be my forever friend in Ohio....I just felt like we were instant kindred spirits. I have cried so many tears - feeling like that got snuffed out way, way, way too soon. One day, God will wipe away every tear. Isn't that a comforting thought? I will see Mary Ann again one day, and Susie and Roger too. What a day of rejoicing that will be!! We cannot hope to understand everything that happens this side of heaven, but one day we will understand. One day we will stand before HIM face to face and we can ask questions like the best 3 year old on earth. All the whys will make sense. The Bible promises, HE will wipe away every tear. That is a promise I hold on tight to. I hope you have enjoyed these cards, which were ones I made as tributes to these people I loved , and still love. Remember, when we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be! When we all see JESUS, we'll sing and shout the victory!! Hang your hat on that one, HE WILL WIPE AWAY EVERY TEAR!!!!
Until next time,